The End of an Era - Padna mama (1929-2018)

In Mr. Mandakolathur Natarajan Padmanabhan's (Padna mama, for us) passing away, we have lost a patriarch, a friend, a guiding force, a person of extreme intelligence and wit, and a compassionate human being, whose place in this world and in our family, will never be filled.

My first memory of him was that of a grim-faced godfather, almost Brandonesque in his presence and his hold over the family. Does this guy ever smile? Why was everyone putting up with this attitude? I had thought.

His acts of hegemony centered around me - he chased me around a fountain for ten minutes during a cousin's wedding , his veshti held high with one hand, because I had not completed a chore; he forced me to eat a plateful of curd rice, that I used to intensely despise; he held a weekly "panchayat" of my misdeeds, abetted by my mom, and dispensed copious judgments, while parting with his trademark smile; oh, there were so many more - were met with amusement and an understanding nod from both my parents. Why were they on his side? I had no idea.

Then, I witnessed the abundant compassion and munificence when my father, and his dear friend, passed away, over three decades ago. How he (and his wife) supported our family and soothed our agonized souls. I would get to see that faculty of his several times over the next decades.

Later on in our lives, he would call us and ask our opinions on politics, sport, and Brazilian women, laugh at our jokes, chide his nephews and nieces, - "Peria aaLa aayteenga…yenna paathu Garuda sowkyamannu kaekareenga…" - and converse with us, as if we were his friends.

Every meeting exposed us to his intellect, the adventurism, the insights, and so many of his other attributes.

Look, every family has a headman, whom they adore and respect. But thinking of Padna mama as, just another family patriarch, will be totally missing the point. When you read and hear family, distant relatives, friends, clients, and peers, narrate their stories, you realize how many more facets there were to this man, and how many lives he had touched. That's the hallmark of a truly great man. That's the legacy and lesson that he leaves behind for all of us to try and emulate.

Here's a doggerel that I wrote in his homage.

Where've you gone, dear Padna mama?

Come back and tell us, that it's all a drama.

You looked out for us, our patriarch reliable,

In each of us, you left a mark, indelible.

You had us in splits, with your humor and wit,

Across family and friends, you're a super-hit.

With a mind so keen, you shaped your career,

That enthralled family, judge, and peer.

From Mylapore to Mexico, you lived life king-size,

You traveled the earth, with a staple of curd rice.

Siblings, offspring, and common men,

Came to you with problems, time and again.

Who'll we go to now, dear Padna mama?

My father's best friend, and our own lama.